sms jokes

Air hostess: Aap 1 gante me 4bar toilet gaye! R U OK? Kya aap ko chein nahi hai? SARDAR: 'Chain' hai par khulti nahi hai!!!

Last nite i had a dream abt U...I saw tht v both were gettig married on the same day...Ur wife was beautiful but mine is not...I asked GOD:Why it is so???GOD replied:"BALANCE OF NATURE"...!!!

Gal: Is dress ka kya price hai?
Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss.
Girl: Aur us dress ka?
Shopkeeper: 10 kiss.
Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill dadi dengi

A Chinese man took his pregnant wife to the hospital tp deliver...
The wife however gave birth to a black baby. The Chinese man who was shocked named him: SOME TIN WONG....

A story with moral
My girlfriend called me to her house one day. I went there & found her sister alone in the house. She was unbelievably sexythan my GF. She whispered in my ear, "I have feelings for you, make love to me once" I turned around & walked to thefront door towards my car. Amazingly I found my GF standing there & she hugged me & said, "U have won my trust."Moral:Its always better to keep the CuNDuMS in the car & not in the wallet!!

A boy goes to see a cabare dance. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?Boy: Yes, I saw dad.

An old to Doc: Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.Doc: That's not senility. Senility is when you forget to zip down

Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi?
Beti: Kuch nahin... Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya?
Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna.

U luv sumone... u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband & the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id...!

A little girl to her mother: "Mom! i have come to know the boy next door have a pennes like a peanut"Mom: " Do you mean its little"girl: " No Mom! Its salty."

wife - suniye kya aap kitchen se garam masala la kar aayenge
husband - magar yahan to nahin hai
wife-- mujha pata tha tumha nahin mila ge is liya main pehla se la aaye baghwan !!!!!!!!!

Teacher:Oxygen is must for Breathing . It was discovered in 1773.
Sardar:Thank God I was born after that .Pehla Paida hota to mar hi jata .

Boy 2 girl - kya tum mere sath dance karogi.
Girl reply - me bacche ke sath dance nahi karti.
Boy - Sorry mujhe pata nahi tha ki tum pregnent ho.

Husband aur wife hotel me gaye
tabhi 1 lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife- koun thi wo?
Hus-Tum dimag kharab mat karo, main pehle hi pareshan hu ki woh bhi Yehi puchegi

Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?
Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu.
Wife: Kitni mari?
Man: 3 male aur 2 female.
Wife: Kaise malum?
Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se...

When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!!

If ur world is spining Round & Round..& Round....Ur heart is beating fast ,do u think its LOVE? na Munna na its called high B/P...

Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE says No, it means - With Idiot for Ever.

Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done.
Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did.

A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.

A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.
Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!

"Am I the first man you have ever loved?" he said."Of course," she answered "Why do men always ask the same question?".

When I was young I didn't like going to weddings.My grandmother would tell me, "You're next"However, she stopped doing that after I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

A: I'm in a big trouble!
B: Why is that?
A: I saw a mouse in my house!
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
A: I don't have one.
B: Well then, buy one.
A: Can't afford one.
B: I can give you mine if you want.
A: That sounds good.
B: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
A: I don't have any cheese.
B: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
A: I don't have oil.B: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
A: I don't have bread.
B: Then what is the mouse doing at your house?!

A man is talking to God.
The man: "God, how long is a million years?
"God: "To me, it's about a minute.
"The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?
"God: "To me it's a penny.
"The man: "God, may I have a penny?
"God: "Wait a minute."